The Mikado Or the Town of Toyko
by eunit
Summary: Everyone's favorite superheroes take on the staging of everyone's favorite operetta about Japan. May Arthur Sullivan forgive them and W.S. Gilbert have mercy on their souls.


The Mikado; Or the Sailor Senshi Do Gilbert and Sullivan

Cast

Narrator……………………………...…………….Tomoe Hotaru, Senshi Saturn

The Senshi of Time...………………………...……. Meiou Setsuna, Senshi Pluto

Nanki-Poo ………………………………...…….Chiba Mamoru, Tuxedo Kamen

Ko-Ko……………………………...…………….Jadeite, Guardian of Endymion

Pooh-Bah ……………………..………………….. Artemis, Guardian Moon Cat

Pish-Tush………………………..…………...Furatara Motoki, Mamoru's Friend

Yum-Yum …………………………...…….Tsukino Usagi, Eternal Senshi Moon

Pitti-Sing……………………………...……………… Luna, Guardian Moon Cat

Peep-Bo .…………………………………………… Osaka Naru, Usagi's Friend

Katisha ……………………………………...…………….Hino Rei, Senshi Mars

Male Chorus Leaders….…………………...…………. Kunzite, Nephrite, Zoicite

Female Chorus Leaders…………..….. Aino Minako, Mizuno Ami, Kino Makoto

Orchestra Leaders……………………………..….Kaiou Michiru, Ten'ou Haruka

Introduction

Hotaru: (_on-stage in front of the curtain_) Welcome, minna-sama, to our theater. Today, the Sailor Senshi are going to present a classic English operetta about Japan called 'The Senshi of Time, or the Town of Tokyo'. _(Michiru peeks on stage_)

Michiru: Hime-chan, that isn't the original name of the operetta!

Hotaru: This is a parody, Michiru-mama, it isn't supposed to be exactly the same. (_Haruka comes on and tugs Michiru off-stage)_

Haruka: Don't worry about it, Michi-chan. The orchestra's waiting for you. aside Personally, I'd rather be on stage, but the costumes are frankly crap. _(H and M exit laughing_)

Hotaru: ahem Anyway, let's get started. calling backstage Minna, are you ready?

All _(backstage_): Hai!

Hotaru: Then without any further ado, the Sailor Senshi Company presents 'The Senshi of Time, or the Town of Toyko'!

curtain

Act One

_(The scene opens on a huge park. As the overture plays, normally dressed citizens wander through the park laughing and talking quietly. Toward the end of the overture the lead chorus members and the chorus of Toyko citizens wander on in standard dress, with the chorus senshi dressed in their colors and the chorus guardians in shades of white and gray. They strike up poses that blatantly exaggerate having a good day in the park.)_

No. 1 Chorus

Chorus:If you want to know who we are,

We are citizens of Japan,

In an oblivious state we are,

To the danger that's at hand!

We live in a daily state,

Of denial that's queer and quaint.

You're wrong if you think it ain't!

Oh!

If you think that we have no sense,

To be happy with youma attacks,

You don't understand these events.

It is simply we don't wish our lives to lack.

Perhaps you suppose this throng,

Can't keep it up all life long.

If that's your idea you wrong!

Oh! Oh!

If you want to know who we are,

We are citizens of Japan,

In an oblivious state we are,

To the danger that's at hand!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

_(Enter Nanki-Poo in a great excitement. We can see he has a pack his back with a bundle of roses and a black cape sticking out. He runs up to Pish-Tush and addresses him.)_

Recitative

Nanki-Poo:Gentleman, I beg you tell me, where a gentle princess dwelleth named Yum-Yum. The ward of Ko-Ko? In pity, speak, oh speak, I beg you!

Pish-Tush: Why, who are you, who ask this question?

Nanki-Poo:Come gather round me, and I'll tell you. (_pulls out a rose and transforms into Tuxedo Kamen)_

Song – Nanki-Poo and Chorus

Nanki-Poo:A wandering Tux-boy, am I,

A thing of roses and speeches,

Of amnesia, rescues, and snatches,

And so dreamy by-and by!

My virtue list is long,

Through every action ranging,

And when my uniform's changing,

I have a really neat song!

I have a really neat song!

Are you in peril and danger true?

I'll rescue you.

Are you trapped in crystal cruel?

I'll be injured, too.

Oh, sorrow, sorrow!

I'll charm my dear love's ears

With speeches of daring gear,

While with floods of tears,

Her cheeks flush with fear.

Oh, sorrow, sorrow!

But if warrior sentiment is wanted,

I've got that role cut and dried.

For where in the cement my steel rose is planted,

All youma and droids are defied.

The Senshi, in pretty ranks, assemble,

Never fear as I'm concealed within the gloom

And I shouldn't be surprised if youma tremble

Before the mighty cry of Sailor Moon.

And I shouldn't be surprised if youma tremble

Before the mighty cry of Sailor Moon.

But if you call for a bit of romance,

We'll pull the curtain down,

With a sob and a sigh for love's not free

My nightmare's and fears I flee,

And cry for the tear-bound

My nightmare's and fears I flee,

And cry for the fear-bound

To fight all night in the howling wind,

May tickle a civilian's taste,

But the happiest hour a Tux-boy sees,

Is when's in the future town,

And, he's finally nightmare-free!

And cry for the fear-bound

Then grab the Time Key, here we go

As the light now brings us down,

He's finally nightmare-free!

And cry for the tear-bound.

He's finally nightmare-free!

And cry for the tear-bound.

A wandering Tux-boy, am I,

A thing of roses and speeches,

Of amnesia, rescues, and snatches,

And so dreamy by-and by!

And so dreamy by-and by!

Dialogue

Pish-Tush:And what is your business with the fair princess, Yum-Yum?

Nanki-Poo:I'll tell you. A year ago, I was a member of the Toyko Rose Breeders Society. It was my duty to make the steel tips for the roses. While discharging this delicate office, Yum-Yum threw a test paper at my head. We had a mutual love-hate relationship at first sight, but she was betrothed to a villain named Ko-Ko, a treacherous Guardian turned Dark Kingdom General. I saw that all my steel-tipped roses and funny hiakus were useless. Overwhelmed by guilt for failing a princess I saw in my dreams, I lost a duel, died just as I regained memories of loving Yum-Yum in a past life, and was subsequently brainwashed by the crazy Dark Kingdom Queen, Beryl. Judge my delight when a month ago, I was healed and regained my memories. I hurried back at once in hopes of finding Yum-Yum at liberty to listen to my protestations and hiakus.

Pish-Tush:It is true that Ko-Ko was imprisoned in Eternal Crystal and should have died along with the Dark Kingdom, but he has been released and raised to the exalted position of Lord High General of Toyko, under the following remarkable circumstances.

Song – Pish-Tush and Male Chorus

Pish-Tush: Our great Time Senshi, a cryptic girl,

When her guarding power did unfurl,

Resolved to try a plan

A plan whereby,

Evildoers might be steadied.

So she decreed in threatening words,

That all who to evil did converge,

(Unless they were brain-washed and purged)

Should forth be moon-dusted!

And I expect you'll all agree,

That she was right to so decree,

And I am right, and you are right,

And all is right as right can be!

Chorus(_nods_): And you are right, and we are right

And all is right as right can be!

Pish-Tush: This stern decree, you'll understand,

Caused great dismay in youma land!

For bash and bold,

And evil and cold,

Were equally affected.

The youma with a roving eye,

Who drained the foolish popul-eye

Was thereupon condemned to fry,

They usually objected.

And you'll allow as I expect,

That they were right to so object,

And I am right, and you are right,

And everything is quite correct!

Chorus(_nods_): And you are right, and we are right,

And everything is quite correct!

Pish-Tush:And so we straight let of crystal stale,

A man who from Metallia's realm did hale,

Who had as yet,

In some context,

Already been moon-dusted.

And made Lord General, for we said

"Who's next in line to be blasted,

Cannot fry another's head,

Until he is moon-dead!"

And we are right, I think you'll say,

To work in such a strange new way,

And I am right, and you are right,

And all is right – too-looral-lay!

Chorus(_laughs_):And you are right, and we are right,

And all is right – too-looral-lay!

(_Chorus exits laughing and discussing their wonderful cleverness in allowing Jad- I mean Ko-Ko to go free, and rule in Toyko. Pooh-Bah enters with as much possible pomp and circumstance.)_

Dialogue

Nanki-Poo:Ko-Ko, a disgusting youma General, Lord High General of Toyko! Why, that's the highest rank an evil villain can attain!

Pooh-Bah:(_as if imparting wisdom from heaven_) It is. (_in a more normal tone of lecturing_) Our wise Time Senshi, seeing no practical reason not to use talent in leadership where she saw it, has created a position where a person can do her job for her. Now, every Lord High General is his in and of himself a vacation for the great Senshi.

Nanki-Poo:(_sarcastically_) But how good of you (for I see that you are a Moon Cat Advisor of the highest rank) to condescend to tell this to me, a mere wandering Tux-Boy!

Pooh-Bah:Don't mention it. I am, in point of fact, a particularly ancient and prideful cat, of pure Moon Kingdom stock. You will understand when I can tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to the original advisors of the Moon Goddess, Selene. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it, I was born a gorgeous and magical cat. But, I struggle hard to overcome this defect. I mortify my pride continually. When all the officials of Tokyo's government resigned in a body, because they were too proud to serve under an ex-youma General, did I not unhesitatingly accept their posts at once?

Pish-Tush:And the salaries attached to them? You did!

Pooh-Bah:It is consequently my odious duty to serve this upstart as Mayor of Toyko (both acting and elect), Lord of the Treasury, Commander-in-Chief, Lord High Admiral, Archbishop of Toyko, and Official Lord High Energy Collector all rolled into one! A Moon Cat paid for his services! I a salaried minion of the city! But I do it! It revolts me, but I do it.

Nanki-Poo_(with sympathy)_ And it does you credit.

Pooh-Bah:But I don't stop at that! I go and talk to non-magical people for a reasonable set of terms. I dance in uneventful balls, in which no monsters show up, for a slight fee. I accept catnip at any hands, no matter how lowly or stupid. I also hand out State secrets at a very low figure. For instances, any further information about Yum-Yum would come under the heading of a State secret. (_He holds out a paw. Nanki-Poo takes the hint and drops a wallet into his hand)_ aside Another insult to my holy Moon Catishness, and a light one at that!

Song – Pooh-Bah with Nanki-Poo and Pish-Tush

Pooh-Bah:Tux-boy, despair

Likewise go to,

Yum-Yum the fair

You must not woo.

It will not do:

I'm sorry for you.

You very imperfect sentinel!

This very day

From school Yum-Yum,

Will trip her way,

And homeward come,

To the sound of thump

And a bump, "excuse me", bump

To marry the Lord High City General

And the future'll crash,

And as Luna yells,

They'll make a splash,

To their wedding bells.

She'll toddle away, as we tell all

With the Lord High City General!

N.P. and P.B:And the future'll crash,

And as Luna yells,

They'll make a splash,

To their wedding bells.

She'll toddle away, as we tell all

With the Lord High City General!

Pooh-Bah:It's a hopeless case

As you may see,

And in your place,

Away I'd flee!

But don't blame me,

I'm sorry to be,

Of you hope a diminutioner.

They'll vow their pact,

Extremely soon,

In point of fact,

This afternoon,

Her honeymoon

With that buffoon

At eleven commences, so you shun her!

All: And the future'll crash,

And as Luna yells,

They'll make a splash,

To their wedding bells.

She'll toddle away, as we tell all

With the Lord High City General!

(_Pish-Tush, who has been watching this, leaves in some disgust. Nanki-Poo takes an attitude of utter despair during which he looks supremely cute downstage.)_

Recitative – Nanki-Poo and Pooh-Bah

Nanki-Poo: And I have I journeyed for a month (or nearly),

To learn that Yum-Yum (whom I love so dearly),

This day with Ko-Ko is to be united!

Pooh-Bah: The fact appears to be as you've recited:

But here he comes, equipped as suits his station;

He'll give you any further information.

(_Pooh-Bah and Nanki-Poo go up-stage left and sit down as the trumpets announce the arrival of the Lord High City General. He appears up-stage center with Beryl's crystal ball floating behind him. It periodically drifts away from him, and he has difficulties calling it back. His uniform is slightly ruffled, and he has an attitude of a man constantly looking over his shoulder incase some decides to throw a magic frisbee…excuse me, tiara. The citizens of Toyko stand to the sidelines and hail him as he enters.) _


End file.
